{
 "luchador": {
  "name": "Luchador",
  "sprite": "luchador",
  "firmware": "Campeon Modular BIOS v1.984, Undefeated",
  "vendor": "Copyright (C) 1984-{date.year}, Tres Caidas Systems",
  "board": "LUCHA-3 Top Rope Revision 1984",
  "cpu_gag": "0 submissions",
  "part": "Mask",
  "part_result": "1 found (never removed)",
  "streak": "Title defences: {streak.days}. The mask stays on.",
  "footer": "LUCHA-3-MASK-1984ROPE-00",
  "quips": [
   "Identity: classified. Even from the kernel.",
   "Process pinned. One, two, three.",
   "Off the top rope: {mem.kb}K of memory.",
   "Tag team partner not found. Booting solo.",
   "Best of three falls. This boot counts as one.",
   "The crowd is on its feet. The crowd is {cpu.cores} cores."
  ],
  "findings": {
   "boot_dirty": "Match abandoned: {boot.device}, {boot.changes}.",
   "irq_conflict": "Illegal hold: port {irq.port} held by {irq.name} (pid {irq.pid}) for {irq.age}.",
   "virus_one": "Unmasked: {virus.repo} has {virus.file} tracked by git. The mask must stay on.",
   "f1": "Press F1 to continue."
  }
 },
 "ninja": {
  "name": "Ninja",
  "sprite": "ninja",
  "firmware": "Shadow Modular BIOS v1.582, Silent Edition",
  "vendor": "Copyright (C) 1582-{date.year}, Nobody You Saw, Inc.",
  "board": "SHINOBI-0 Revision [unseen]",
  "cpu_gag": "0 witnesses",
  "part": "Ninja",
  "part_result": "not found (as expected)",
  "streak": "Nights undetected: {streak.days}. Leave no trace.",
  "footer": "SHINOBI-0-SMOK-1582BOMB-00",
  "quips": [
   "Intruder check: nothing seen. This is the concerning result.",
   "Smoke bomb deployed. Logs cleared. Unrelated.",
   "Footsteps detected: 0. Footsteps taken: several.",
   "The ninja was in this boot screen the whole time.",
   "{cpu.cores} cores, none of which saw anything.",
   "Floppy drive A: vanished in a puff of smoke."
  ],
  "findings": {
   "boot_dirty": "Traces left behind: {boot.device}, {boot.changes}.",
   "irq_conflict": "Someone is in the rafters: port {irq.port} held by {irq.name} (pid {irq.pid}) for {irq.age}.",
   "virus_one": "Secret exposed: {virus.repo} has {virus.file} tracked by git. A ninja would never.",
   "f1": "Press F1 to continue. Quietly."
  }
 },
 "raccoon": {
  "name": "Raccoon",
  "sprite": "raccoon",
  "firmware": "Trash Panda Modular BIOS v1.999, Nocturnal Edition",
  "vendor": "Copyright (C) 1999-{date.year}, Dumpster Systems After Dark",
  "board": "BANDIT-5 Bin Lid Revision 1999",
  "cpu_gag": "0 regrets",
  "part": "Trash",
  "part_result": "located (smells promising)",
  "streak": "Nights raiding: {streak.days}. The bins remain undefeated.",
  "footer": "BANDIT-5-BINS-1999DUSK-00",
  "quips": [
   "Hands washed. Evidence also washed.",
   "Operating hours: after dark. It is always after dark in a terminal.",
   "Little hands detected on the keyboard. They are yours.",
   "{cpu.cores} cores, all of them rummaging.",
   "Floppy drive A: taken. It was shiny.",
   "The mask is permanent. There is no identity to protect."
  ],
  "findings": {
   "boot_dirty": "Lid left open: {boot.device}, {boot.changes}.",
   "irq_conflict": "Someone else is in this bin: port {irq.port} held by {irq.name} (pid {irq.pid}) for {irq.age}.",
   "virus_one": "Shiny thing left out: {virus.repo} has {virus.file} tracked by git. Hide it.",
   "f1": "Press F1 to continue."
  }
 },
 "sumo": {
  "name": "Sumo",
  "sprite": "sumo",
  "firmware": "Yokozuna Modular BIOS v1.991, Immovable",
  "vendor": "Copyright (C) 1991-{date.year}, Grand Tournament Systems",
  "board": "DOHYO-15 Ring Revision 1991",
  "cpu_gag": "0 steps backward",
  "part": "Salt",
  "part_result": "1 handful (thrown)",
  "streak": "Bouts won in a row: {streak.days}. Do not get pushed out.",
  "footer": "DOHYO-15-SUMO-1991RING-00",
  "quips": [
   "Stance: low. Centre of gravity: lower.",
   "Process priority: heavyweight.",
   "Ring purified. Boot may begin.",
   "Bout length: {shell.boot_ms}ms. Most are.",
   "{cpu.cores} cores, all of them pushing.",
   "Floppy drive A: forced out of the ring.",
   "Topknot secured. Boot may proceed with dignity."
  ],
  "findings": {
   "boot_dirty": "Left the ring mid-bout: {boot.device}, {boot.changes}.",
   "irq_conflict": "Ring occupied: port {irq.port} held by {irq.name} (pid {irq.pid}) for {irq.age}.",
   "virus_one": "Ring not purified: {virus.repo} has {virus.file} tracked by git. Throw salt.",
   "f1": "Press F1 to continue."
  }
 },
 "unicorn": {
  "name": "Unicorn",
  "sprite": "unicorn",
  "firmware": "Sparkle Modular BIOS v1.985PG, An Enchantment Star Ally",
  "vendor": "Copyright (C) 1985-{date.year}, Rainbows & Unicorns, Inc.",
  "board": "UNI-440BX ACPI BIOS Revision 1007",
  "cpu_gag": "0 horns",
  "part": "Horn",
  "part_result": "1 found (7-band, sparkle capable)",
  "streak": "Boot streak: {streak.label}. Don't blow it.",
  "footer": "UNI-440BX-RNBW-2A69KU1C-00",
  "quips": [
   "Turbo button engaged. It does nothing. It never did.",
   "Plug and Pray devices found: 1 unicorn",
   "IRQ 7 assigned to: glitter",
   "Year 2000 compliant. Year 2038 to be advised.",
   "Math coprocessor present, and quietly judging your arithmetic.",
   "Parity check passed. The odds were even.",
   "Shadow RAM enabled. Shadow unicorn also enabled.",
   "640K ought to be enough for anybody. You have {mem.kb}K. Show-off.",
   "Floppy drive A: not found. Nobody is surprised.",
   "{cpu.cores} cores detected. In 1995 that was a server room.",
   "Booting from {shell.name}. Bold choice.",
   "Enchantment Star compliant: powered entirely by friendship.",
   "Warning: horn is not hot-swappable.",
   "PC speaker not found. Please imagine a beep."
  ],
  "findings": {
   "boot_dirty": null,
   "irq_conflict": null,
   "virus_one": null,
   "f1": null
  }
 },
 "viking": {
  "name": "Viking",
  "sprite": "viking",
  "firmware": "Longship Modular BIOS v793, Raiding Edition",
  "vendor": "Copyright (C) 793-{date.year}, North Sea Systems",
  "board": "DRAKKAR-32 Oar Revision 793",
  "cpu_gag": "0 retreats",
  "part": "Horns",
  "part_result": "2 found (historically inaccurate)",
  "streak": "Days at sea: {streak.days}. Row.",
  "footer": "DRAKKAR-32-SKOL-0793AXE-00",
  "quips": [
   "Destination set: west. Navigation: vibes.",
   "Pillaging /tmp. Nothing of value found.",
   "{cpu.cores} cores at the oars. Row.",
   "Valhalla unreachable: no network code. By design.",
   "Beard integrity: excellent.",
   "Booting from {shell.name}. The sagas will mention it."
  ],
  "findings": {
   "boot_dirty": "Longship left unmoored: {boot.device}, {boot.changes}.",
   "irq_conflict": "Harbour blocked: port {irq.port} held by {irq.name} (pid {irq.pid}) for {irq.age}.",
   "virus_one": "Treasure left out: {virus.repo} has {virus.file} tracked by git. Bury it.",
   "f1": "Press F1 to continue."
  }
 },
 "yeti": {
  "name": "Yeti",
  "sprite": "yeti",
  "firmware": "Abominable Modular BIOS v1.951, Unverified",
  "vendor": "Copyright (C) 1951-{date.year}, Himalayan Footprint Co.",
  "board": "YETI-8K Base Camp Revision 1951",
  "cpu_gag": "0 clear photographs",
  "part": "Yeti",
  "part_result": "1 found (blurry)",
  "streak": "Days unsighted: {streak.days}.",
  "footer": "YETI-8K-BLUR-1951SNOW-00",
  "quips": [
   "Photographic evidence: inconclusive, as always.",
   "Footprint detected. Size 27. Not yours.",
   "Altitude: 8000m. Fan speed: unnecessary.",
   "Sighting logged. Nobody will believe the logs.",
   "Expedition found {cpu.cores} cores and no yeti.",
   "Snow detected on the heatsink. Leave it."
  ],
  "findings": {
   "boot_dirty": "Camp abandoned in a hurry: {boot.device}, {boot.changes}.",
   "irq_conflict": "Something is in the cave: port {irq.port} held by {irq.name} (pid {irq.pid}) for {irq.age}.",
   "virus_one": "Clear photograph found: {virus.repo} has {virus.file} tracked by git. Blur it.",
   "f1": "Press F1 to continue."
  }
 }
}