SparkleBIOS
Boot every terminal tab like a 1995 PC. It counts your RAM, detects a unicorn, and runs a real health check.
Every line on the screen is true of your machine, apart from the mascot. Under the gags it tells you which repo you left with uncommitted work, which forgotten process has held port 3000 for two days, and whether a .env is tracked by git. Eight mascots, ten themes, zero network code.
$ brew install reactivepixels/tap/sparklebios
Or with Rust
$ cargo install sparklebios
Then, at the end of ~/.zshrc
command -v bios >/dev/null 2>&1 && eval "$(bios init zsh)"
Try it without touching your shell: bios boot --flavour sumo. Turn it off with SPARKLEBIOS_BOOT=0.
One screen, swappable personality.
A flavour is the mascot, the firmware, the vendor, the one part a BIOS would detect, and a pool of rotating quips. Pick one and the machine reboots as somebody else. The unicorn is the default.
Make it permanent: bios use raccoon. See what is available: bios flavours. Yours is one TOML file away. All seven, in detail.
The jokes are true.
Every line that looks like a diagnostic is one. The probes run in a detached process after your shell has started, and the boot screen reads the result from a cache, so nothing slow ever runs while a tab opens.
| The screen says | It means |
|---|---|
Boot device order: eko-pro, sparklebios, klang-stack | The three projects you worked in most recently. |
Primary boot device not parked: eko-pro, 3 uncommitted changes. | You walked away from that one mid-change. bios resume goes back to it. |
IRQ conflict: port 3000 held by node (pid 4821) for 3 days. | A dev server you forgot about is still holding a port. |
Virus scan: eko-pro has .env.local tracked by git. Quarantine advised. | git is tracking a file that looks like a secret. |
How each check works, including the port allow list and the secret name patterns.
The show, once a day.
Once a day the boot is animated: the memory count ticks up and each device is detected in turn. Press any key to skip it, and whatever you typed is waiting on your prompt when it ends. Every other boot is drawn instantly. Measured on an Apple M3 Pro: 4 to 6ms for a whole boot, process start included.
Beside the boot screen, Rainbows and Unicorns is a Ghostty theme in ten variants with checked contrast. The name is the only joke in it. bios theme use miami installs them and switches to one.
Questions people ask.
- Will it slow my shell?
- It has a time budget and the budget is tested. Measured on an Apple M3 Pro: 4 to 6ms for a whole boot, process start included. It spawns nothing and waits for nothing.
- Does it phone home?
- No. There is no network code in this project and there never will be. In 1985 there was nothing to phone.
- How do I turn it off?
SPARKLEBIOS_BOOT=0, or remove one line from your shell config. The hook is guarded, so uninstalling the binary cannot break your shell either.- Can I skip the show?
- Press any key. Whatever you typed is waiting on your prompt when it ends.
- Where did I leave off?
- The boot screen lists your recent projects as boot devices and names the one you walked away from mid-change.
bios resumetakes you back to it. - No mascot?
- Your terminal cannot show images. Ghostty and kitty can.
- Is it a neofetch alternative?
- Not really. Here is the honest comparison.
System requirements: a terminal, 640K of RAM (ought to be enough for anybody), and one unicorn, supplied. Warranty void if horn is removed.